and had a huge freak out because they said my blood pressure was really high. talked about my anxiety etc etc. when i left though, my blood pressure had lowered and the doctor told me it’s my anxiety. she told me to calm down, drink some water, and relax. and it went down some more.

i hate having anxiety. what’s worse though, is having it and knowing it’s me that causes it. it’s not a disease i developed, or a sickness i caught. it’s all in my head. i have a list of some free therapist and stuff, if i want to go seek out “help.”

im going back on thursday for blood tests and stuff, so they can check my cholesterol. the doctor said she wanted me to be “at ease” as far as freaking out about having heart attacks and stuff.

needless to say though, i am TOTALLY freaked out. i have officially quit fast food. and like, all frozen food. i really just want to be a better me.

anxiety isn’t something i would wish on someone, even an enemy.